Elections and Impressions

This week was a very interesting one for me... First of all, a new Executive Board for AIESEC Bern was elected on Monday (see AIESEC Bern's Blog). A very emotional night in all possible ways. But this is another story...

Apart from that experience (that of course will change my daily life drastically) another election took place in Bern: the "Gesamterneuerungswahl des Bundesrates", the Elections of the Federal Council. Any yes: the ominous Christoph Blocher was not reelected, Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf was elected instead. This happened on Wednesday, but as media told, she would only declare her acceptance (or not) on Thursday.
After I've heard, that there would be a rally on the Federal Square next morning, Kathrin and I spontaneously decided to join it. At 7 in the morning. Of course, we arrived there only at 7.40. Still, we were able to witness the magical moment of her acceptance on the Federal Square while listening to the radio. Ten seconds later we had a microphone of the TSR (Francophonic Television) in our face and babbled something in French. We laughed about it at Starbuck's afterwards...;)

On Friday, i joined the MC open day. You can read my official statement here. Anyway, it was really a good experience and did leave an impact on me... (I'll come back to this later...)

After the Open Day, a small group of us took the train to Geneva, for the Pakistani Dinner hosted by the Genevan EB at Bilal's Place. Not that many people came unfortunately, but maybe this was even a good thing. The atmosphere was very relaxed, friendly and it was just so cool and refreshing to have such a night. We ate a wonderful dinner, talked, played games (sounds lame, but actually very cool discussions were intitiated by them...) and just had a great time.
The next morning, Kathrin and I took the train back to Bern, half sleeping half discussing once again very hot topics. Since the train was heading for Lucerne, we spontaneously decided to just stay in the train and visit the Museum of Transport. Arriving in Bern, we decided (just as spontaneously) not to do so and stay in Bern to study....;)

Federal Square in the early morning

Federal Palace

Kathrin & me

;-)

Oli & Kathrin

Delicious Pakistani Food

Jelena & me

The small big gang. Ravaka, Rene, Oli, Bilal, Kathrin, Me, Jelena, Nadja, Sara.

While having these various discussions with all those people, my mindset shifted a little bit. The questions whether to apply for the MC or not became once again very present and although I still have the same preference, I'm not that sure anymore.

Time will tell, now it's time to focus on my exams again and to enjoy the Christmas time. I think I felt some of the real Christmas spirit for the first time today, when shopping in Migros for groceries and passing by the small assortment of Christmas goods. Now I have about 2 weeks to enjoy it...;)

"It's all been done" - Bare Naked Ladies

What the Hell

This week was weird. Not only this week, acutally the last few weeks in general. The one thing I'm constantly thinking about is the big change that is going to come soon. EB elections are coming up in about two weeks... (!!!) At that time I will know, who my successor's going to be. To whom I will pass on what I've done, what I've processed and learnt during this amazing year. Our team experience is going to be finished. We'll be able to pass our LC on to the next generation.

It feels strange that something that had this huge affect on you for one year is soon going to be over. Or is it?

Ten days after my last blog entry, things have cleared up about the near future. I've made some decisions during that time, yes. But the further future is still very blurry. Too many options again. Isn't this weird... (no interrogation mark here!)

People are trying to persuade me, are telling me to do things, to apply for positions. What the hell? What if I don't want to apply for certain positions. What if I don't feel ready for certain positions? What if my head tells me something else than my... heart, stomach, scar on my back...? (whatever part of the body you might want to choose...)

Decisions aren't about what you're supposed to do, what you want to do or what other people want you to do. They are about what feels right. And right now, it feels right to make decisions at a later time. To move certain experiences further ahead. To concentrate on me, myself and my personal development.

In a year from now, looking back on this time, I might regret that I didn't do enough notes taking, diary filling and blogging. But I will remember this time as being very stressful, very reflective... a time of great change. Change that might have been hard to take at certain points. But one, that was well thought through. One that doesn't need to evoke regrets. One that felt and still feels right.

"Camille et Franck" - Ensemble C'est Tout Soundtrack

Options

Options... When we don't have them, we'd like to. When we do, we hate it because decision making is up to us and not to the external world anymore.

I'm just listing a few options here, not in any order of preference or so, ok? Just listing them...

- random Goldie
- LCP
- NST
- eXchange
- CEED
- MCVP
- AI (just kidding...;)

I sorted them in an order of preference for myself, especially during and now after DO-IT I've been thinking about this a lot. But I'm not telling. Not yet. Still, decisions have to be taken soon. Not that I would have time to think. I can't elaborate on it yet. Oh boy...

I'm open for any kind of remarks, though...


"Juicy" - Better than Ezra

Procrastination

"… I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any more time, I have less time. But let’s just say we could save up a whole chunk of time and set it aside. You know what we’d do with it? Nothing. Nothing at all, isn’t that the point to be able to do nothing at all? But we’re not guaranteed that later on chunk of time, all we have is Here & Now.

And that’s why procrastination feels so right.

Procrastination is not the problem, it is the solution.
It is the universe’s way of saying:
“Stop! Slow down! You move too fast!
Listen to the music, whow whow, listen to the music!
Because music makes the people come together,
It makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So,
Come on people now, smile on your brother
And everybody try to love one another.
Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love
And I know that love is a battlefield,
But boogie on, reggae woman,
Because you’re gonna make it after all.
So, celebrate good times, come on.

I’ve gotta stop, I’ve gotta come to my senses,
I’ve been out riding fences for so long…

Oops, I did it again...

What I’m trying to say is: If you leave here tonight and you don’t remember anything else that I said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now! Don’t put it off…"

from Ellen Degeneres' "Here & Now"

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"Something's Always Wrong" - Toad The Wet Sprocket

Lost XP

During the last few weeks, many things happened in my life. Although this is supposed to be a blog about "the choices I make in life", I haven't really been updating it a lot lately. I'm so engaged in my studies, my AIESEC duties and private projects, that I rarely find time anymore to just sit down and reflect about anything, nor has my dream diary been updated regularly in the past weeks. Now, that the exam period is almost over and I'll be more flexible again, it feels like so much knowledge about my experiences in the past weeks is just gone, or hardly retractable. What am I going to do about that? Should I sit down and try to relive and note down my past experiences? I'm a person that believes in learning from past mistakes and experiences, so in that sense: Yes, I should! On the other hand, there's still a lot left to do and it's going to be hard to find time to..... No, that's just a lame excuse.

Just wait, Moleskine notbook, I'll be back soon!
(don't even try to understand how my brain works...)

"Build me up Buttercup" - The Foundations

bern, uni, @,...: year 1

here i am and the first year of my studies is almost over. the first real year of this challenge called growing up, the first year of living far, far away from home.

as i was taking one of my usual nightly walks through holligen, it suddenly occurred to me that i will have moved to another flat in one month from now. i will leave the old home behind (once again) and move on.

i got thinking... this year was probably the busiest of my life. but it was definitely amongst the most entertaining ones. i got to experience so many different things. many of them, thanks to aiesec. there were so many ups and downs, good and bad moments, quiet and busy ones. it's weird how much can happen in just one year. but would i have to name the most important one, i would be clueless...

i came to bern, because i wanted to challenge myself, live in my own flat, find my way around in a new environment, socialize with other people. i'm not entirely happy with what i've achieved until now. but isn't happiness maybe the first step of "settling down"? and isn't settling down.... well, boring? man, i'm young. i still have the time and the energy to try things out, make mistakes and learn from them afterwards.

a couple of posts earlier, i described my life as a construction site. i would like to add another metaphor to this.
right now, life's a playground. a pretty messy one, and one where you easily can fall down, get hurt and damage yourself badly. still. you should take moments to play around.

(me on a playground in newport, rhode island during my america trip last summer)

i'm gonna miss this year. i'm gonna miss the old flat, even though i'm looking forward to living in the new one. i'll miss my nightly walks through the forest and the allotments ("schrebergärten"). i'll miss the ping-pong table where i've lain many nights, looking in the sky and enjoying the stars shining through the branches. i'll miss my back yard, where foxes would turn up now and then. (actually, just once) i'm gonna miss this year.

i would do many things differently. however, i think i should focus on my future, the next year at least. formulate concrete action steps. once again. and stick to them. good luck with exams.

"gracias a la vida" - mercedes sosa

Under construction

These days, there's a huge construction site in Berne, that pisses everybody off: the one at the Train Station Square, literally in the heart of the town. When I passed there by today, I was looking at these huge escalators lying around and it got me thinking.

It sounds very silly, I know, but isn't life some sort of construction site, as well? I mean, problems arise constantly, and you try to fix them only to be confronted by new ones. You work a lot, you get challenged everyday and sometimes you need to dig very deep in order to fix things or get things right.

Anyway, my life right now resembles a huge construction site. There's a lot of things to be fixed, changed and built. The thing is, I barely know how to approach those things. I guess time will tell. Luckily, my life doesn't need to be ready for next year's European championship. I guess, I'm lucky enough to be able to start with fixing small things first, instead of tearing everything apart. As I said: Time will tell!

Impressions from the Train Station Square in Berne, taken today:

"Hasheket Shenishar" - Shiri Maimon

nothing lasts forever

life is so precious it's as fragile as a dream
and in a moment we all grow our wings
I wish to sing as if no ones listening
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
and I, give thanks for my dreams

you can rob me of my sight
and you can poison my blood stream
but as long as I can dream then life is worth living

"nothing lasts forever" - brett dennen

today was a good day

Today was a good day.
Had a good night's sleep for the first time this week.
Told my POTSNs that they passed the SRBs.
Met with friends from Basel and Mexico who had come for a visit.
Showed them my appartment.
Got introduced to Metronomy's Toxic.
Had nice dinner.
Got a late birthday present.
Watched the season finale of LOST.
Reflected on the day.
Went to bed.

"Elaine" - ABBA

Revelations

Some people are more revealing than others, meaning that they are more open towards you than others. This is just a natural fact. But sometimes, opinions, emotions, even secrets are revealed unintentionally. How do you deal with that (being on either side)? Nothing might be like before. Your whole perception might have changed. A whole relationship might be at stake because of it. What do you do, when it's just too late to go back? On the other hand, was this relationship (no matter on which level) even worth it when the other person can't even accept a previously unknown fact?

I hate this! Peace and Love for everybody!


"This Boy" - James Morrison

Kiff-Ock is over

Yes, Kick-Off'07, the first big national AIESEC conference of the year is over. And it was a blast!

The first day was a bit disillusioning. It was so weird to be in Fiesch again, the same sourrounding as last time, only this time as a Leader. All the surprises you face at a conference as Newie were gone, yet many new things had to be discovered. How to lead a whole bunch of Bernese people, and we were a lot this time. How to be a role model for them and once again, how to enjoy every second of these four days up in the alps (and immediately go on stage once the AIESEC music had started..;).

It turned out to be one of the best AIESEC experiences I've ever had. I'm so f****** proud of my Bernese people, they rocked the place! No wonder, we won the LC Development Award with such an incredible LC behind us! (Even though, before the very moment they announced the winner, I kind of didn't believe we would win the award anymore...) Can't wait for Do-It!!

Right after the conference, we had an LCM on Monday night where we gathered our LC once again. After that, we went to "the Greek" to sit together and eat and drink something. I shared a meal with Laura, our wonderful Goldie. We talked and talked and talked until we were the last AIESECers in the place. It's amazing how you can get to know a person in a whole new way, by just talking with them.

After a very strange good-bye, I spontaneously decided to seize the moment, take action and ask Laura for an arrangement to which she agreed. (and no, I didn't ask her to marry me...)

Thanks Laura for that special evening!

***

Thanks Kathrin for sharing another AIESEC experience with me!

Thanks EBs for putting all your efforts in this LC!

Thanks LC Bern for making this conference such an unforgettable experience!

"Gimme!Gimme!Gimme!" - A*Teens

Let's gingg-off!

This is actually just a random update blog entry post thingy...

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Winter is definitely gone:
1. Thanks to the trees in front of my window having leaves again, I don't need to close the shutters on my window every night. (On the other side of the strees, in one appartment there is living somebody who's awake all night. Every time I wake up at night, the lights are on and this mysterious someone is watching TV. No matter what time it is. Strange! Anyway, won't be bothered by the light again.)


2. I used to take walks in the forest at night, to calm down, enjoy the nature and get a free mind again after having spent most of the evening studying or so. It was always so nice to look up and see the stars through the branches, very cool atmosphere that was. Not going to do that again. Was in the forest on Sunday. At night. Scary. Branches with leaves. You can't see anything. At all. Very scary. What if there's a rapist? Or a wendigo? Not gonna do that again. At least not in Summer.

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My roommate kicked me out. Well sorta. He's gonna move out and left me with the choice of either taking over the appartment and look for a new roommate myself or move out, too. I think I'm gonna move out. I need something new. Maybe in the Breitsch... Who knows.

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My second national AIESEC conference is coming up, KICK-OFF '07. I'm sooooo excited, it's going to be great. Just great. Really great. Awesome, really...

By the way: eXchange rocks!

"Imitation Of Life" - R.E.M.

have you ever...

have you ever stopped by a tree and just looked at a single leaf, just imagining how long it took for that one leaf to grow and develop?

have you ever sat on the balcony, while it was raining in summer, just listening to the sound and enjoying a summer rain's typical atmosphere and smell?

have you ever just interrupted your schedule, to lie down in the grass and look in the sky, just enjoying the moment?

***

if not, take the time to do one of these things once in a while. take a step back and let your natural environment come to you, forget about all your little problems for a moment. always try to have a certain sense for the little joys in life...

"comptine d'un autre été: la démarche" -yann tiersen

always by my side

Do you know that? Suddenly, you have a great idea! Or all of a sudden, you know how to solve a problem! Or you just had a deeply philosophical and personal train of thoughts, and you know exactly that you will forget about all of this soon, because you don't have anything to note these things down!

You know what I'm talking about? You don't?

Anyway, these things happen to me all the time, that's why I took action last Friday and made on of the best purchases of my life:


A Moleskine Notebook, combined with a customized pen holder an a small Stabilo pen...

Now, I have the perfect tool to note things down, that are too personal or too random for a blog like this. Like i said, I bought it on Friday and I already filled out quite a few pages. Everytime I feel like writing down something, I have the chance to do it, because it's so tiny and therefore always in my pocket/bag...

This is more than a diary for me. It's a steady companion and a "Erinnerungsstück voller Erinnerungen" (doesn't work in English), meaning that once in time, I will be able to read this and remember all the great and not so great moments of this period of time in my life.

I can't really describe how I fell about this. Sometimes, just little things can mean so much to you.

"Isn't Love" - Joe Purdy

Not Just Lables

Whoever said that names are just labels and that they don't mean anything is wrong!

It occurred to me today, that names have an incredible power. Of course, names are labels, too, but when we hear a name, being from a person, an animal, or any kind of object..., we almost always connect this name to a certain feeling (except when we don't know what is meant). Happiness, interest, fear, love, hate, disgust, ... just to name a few. We rarely are indifferent in this kind of situation.

Today I heard a certain name for the first time. A name, I didn't ...expect. I've been waiting for this quite some time, but I turned out to be different than I anticipated. The emotions I feel now, are quite undescribable. In the truest sense of the word, really.

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Okay, I don't think anybody of you can make sense out of this post, not even I can, so I'm gonna stop. Just don't be surprised, when you see me bumping into people because I'm daydreaming...

***

And on a completely unrelated note: I googled myself today (to be honest not for the first time), and I'm kind of pissed. There's this other François Rossé, a french composer for flutes, recorders and those kinds of instruments. Apparently he's quite famous in the musician's world. Maybe I should get a "stage name". Or I could use my middle name, like François D. Rossé... FDR? I don't know.

"Overkill" - Colin Hay