What the Hell

This week was weird. Not only this week, acutally the last few weeks in general. The one thing I'm constantly thinking about is the big change that is going to come soon. EB elections are coming up in about two weeks... (!!!) At that time I will know, who my successor's going to be. To whom I will pass on what I've done, what I've processed and learnt during this amazing year. Our team experience is going to be finished. We'll be able to pass our LC on to the next generation.

It feels strange that something that had this huge affect on you for one year is soon going to be over. Or is it?

Ten days after my last blog entry, things have cleared up about the near future. I've made some decisions during that time, yes. But the further future is still very blurry. Too many options again. Isn't this weird... (no interrogation mark here!)

People are trying to persuade me, are telling me to do things, to apply for positions. What the hell? What if I don't want to apply for certain positions. What if I don't feel ready for certain positions? What if my head tells me something else than my... heart, stomach, scar on my back...? (whatever part of the body you might want to choose...)

Decisions aren't about what you're supposed to do, what you want to do or what other people want you to do. They are about what feels right. And right now, it feels right to make decisions at a later time. To move certain experiences further ahead. To concentrate on me, myself and my personal development.

In a year from now, looking back on this time, I might regret that I didn't do enough notes taking, diary filling and blogging. But I will remember this time as being very stressful, very reflective... a time of great change. Change that might have been hard to take at certain points. But one, that was well thought through. One that doesn't need to evoke regrets. One that felt and still feels right.

"Camille et Franck" - Ensemble C'est Tout Soundtrack

...still: Procrastination

Hell, I'm even procrastinating my blogging activities...

Let me sum it up for you:
- big busy month
- exams
- new semester
- recruitment
- trying to reconnect with Basel
- my first general national elections
- today: last warm fall day of the year... trying to absorb the sun for the last time...

I just have no time. Starting to be so busy, dass ich meine Sätze nicht zu Ende.

Any questions? I'm glad to give... (if I can find time for...) Anyway, I hope you're not. Or. That would be. Really.

no song title this time - i have no time to post a

Procrastination

"… I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any more time, I have less time. But let’s just say we could save up a whole chunk of time and set it aside. You know what we’d do with it? Nothing. Nothing at all, isn’t that the point to be able to do nothing at all? But we’re not guaranteed that later on chunk of time, all we have is Here & Now.

And that’s why procrastination feels so right.

Procrastination is not the problem, it is the solution.
It is the universe’s way of saying:
“Stop! Slow down! You move too fast!
Listen to the music, whow whow, listen to the music!
Because music makes the people come together,
It makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So,
Come on people now, smile on your brother
And everybody try to love one another.
Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love
And I know that love is a battlefield,
But boogie on, reggae woman,
Because you’re gonna make it after all.
So, celebrate good times, come on.

I’ve gotta stop, I’ve gotta come to my senses,
I’ve been out riding fences for so long…

Oops, I did it again...

What I’m trying to say is: If you leave here tonight and you don’t remember anything else that I said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now! Don’t put it off…"

from Ellen Degeneres' "Here & Now"

---

"Something's Always Wrong" - Toad The Wet Sprocket

Under construction

These days, there's a huge construction site in Berne, that pisses everybody off: the one at the Train Station Square, literally in the heart of the town. When I passed there by today, I was looking at these huge escalators lying around and it got me thinking.

It sounds very silly, I know, but isn't life some sort of construction site, as well? I mean, problems arise constantly, and you try to fix them only to be confronted by new ones. You work a lot, you get challenged everyday and sometimes you need to dig very deep in order to fix things or get things right.

Anyway, my life right now resembles a huge construction site. There's a lot of things to be fixed, changed and built. The thing is, I barely know how to approach those things. I guess time will tell. Luckily, my life doesn't need to be ready for next year's European championship. I guess, I'm lucky enough to be able to start with fixing small things first, instead of tearing everything apart. As I said: Time will tell!

Impressions from the Train Station Square in Berne, taken today:

"Hasheket Shenishar" - Shiri Maimon

nothing lasts forever

life is so precious it's as fragile as a dream
and in a moment we all grow our wings
I wish to sing as if no ones listening
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
and I, give thanks for my dreams

you can rob me of my sight
and you can poison my blood stream
but as long as I can dream then life is worth living

"nothing lasts forever" - brett dennen

today was a good day

Today was a good day.
Had a good night's sleep for the first time this week.
Told my POTSNs that they passed the SRBs.
Met with friends from Basel and Mexico who had come for a visit.
Showed them my appartment.
Got introduced to Metronomy's Toxic.
Had nice dinner.
Got a late birthday present.
Watched the season finale of LOST.
Reflected on the day.
Went to bed.

"Elaine" - ABBA

Revelations

Some people are more revealing than others, meaning that they are more open towards you than others. This is just a natural fact. But sometimes, opinions, emotions, even secrets are revealed unintentionally. How do you deal with that (being on either side)? Nothing might be like before. Your whole perception might have changed. A whole relationship might be at stake because of it. What do you do, when it's just too late to go back? On the other hand, was this relationship (no matter on which level) even worth it when the other person can't even accept a previously unknown fact?

I hate this! Peace and Love for everybody!


"This Boy" - James Morrison

Let's gingg-off!

This is actually just a random update blog entry post thingy...

---

Winter is definitely gone:
1. Thanks to the trees in front of my window having leaves again, I don't need to close the shutters on my window every night. (On the other side of the strees, in one appartment there is living somebody who's awake all night. Every time I wake up at night, the lights are on and this mysterious someone is watching TV. No matter what time it is. Strange! Anyway, won't be bothered by the light again.)


2. I used to take walks in the forest at night, to calm down, enjoy the nature and get a free mind again after having spent most of the evening studying or so. It was always so nice to look up and see the stars through the branches, very cool atmosphere that was. Not going to do that again. Was in the forest on Sunday. At night. Scary. Branches with leaves. You can't see anything. At all. Very scary. What if there's a rapist? Or a wendigo? Not gonna do that again. At least not in Summer.

---

My roommate kicked me out. Well sorta. He's gonna move out and left me with the choice of either taking over the appartment and look for a new roommate myself or move out, too. I think I'm gonna move out. I need something new. Maybe in the Breitsch... Who knows.

---

My second national AIESEC conference is coming up, KICK-OFF '07. I'm sooooo excited, it's going to be great. Just great. Really great. Awesome, really...

By the way: eXchange rocks!

"Imitation Of Life" - R.E.M.

have you ever...

have you ever stopped by a tree and just looked at a single leaf, just imagining how long it took for that one leaf to grow and develop?

have you ever sat on the balcony, while it was raining in summer, just listening to the sound and enjoying a summer rain's typical atmosphere and smell?

have you ever just interrupted your schedule, to lie down in the grass and look in the sky, just enjoying the moment?

***

if not, take the time to do one of these things once in a while. take a step back and let your natural environment come to you, forget about all your little problems for a moment. always try to have a certain sense for the little joys in life...

"comptine d'un autre été: la démarche" -yann tiersen

Hurz

Instead of writing down how I feel, what I've been through these days and so on, I'm just gonna post a video that I found on YouTube. It's a real classic of (intelligent!) German comedy. Enjoy!



"Hurz" - Hape Kerkeling

Not Just Lables

Whoever said that names are just labels and that they don't mean anything is wrong!

It occurred to me today, that names have an incredible power. Of course, names are labels, too, but when we hear a name, being from a person, an animal, or any kind of object..., we almost always connect this name to a certain feeling (except when we don't know what is meant). Happiness, interest, fear, love, hate, disgust, ... just to name a few. We rarely are indifferent in this kind of situation.

Today I heard a certain name for the first time. A name, I didn't ...expect. I've been waiting for this quite some time, but I turned out to be different than I anticipated. The emotions I feel now, are quite undescribable. In the truest sense of the word, really.

---

Okay, I don't think anybody of you can make sense out of this post, not even I can, so I'm gonna stop. Just don't be surprised, when you see me bumping into people because I'm daydreaming...

***

And on a completely unrelated note: I googled myself today (to be honest not for the first time), and I'm kind of pissed. There's this other François Rossé, a french composer for flutes, recorders and those kinds of instruments. Apparently he's quite famous in the musician's world. Maybe I should get a "stage name". Or I could use my middle name, like François D. Rossé... FDR? I don't know.

"Overkill" - Colin Hay

Busiest Time Ever!

So here we are, yet another blog entry about my stressful life. Quite some time has passed by since my last one, again.... So once again, a short list of what has happened these last weeks:

Skiing: Went to Savognin GR for a few days of skiing and enjoying the fresh air in the mountains. Was cool. Not too much snow, but really good one high above. Went home on Thursday. Over 60 e-mails waiting for me. Great!

WENA LDS: The whole EB elect went to WENA LDS (Western Europe and North America Growth Network Leadership Development Seminar), a AIESEC conference in Goytre, Wales, UK. I had a really good time there. We traveled with the EB elect of Lausanne together. My first international conference. 5 days without cell phone, internet. 5 days on that old farm on the Welsh countryside. 5 days of intensive self-discovery and team working. G-Stars, cru cru cru cru!

"Everybody of you is a role model."

"It has only been my second conference and my second home group, but the fact, that we can share so much, our fears..., even our tears, says a LOT about this group. Topping that in another home group is going to be very, very hard."

"I love you, guys."

First week of university: Besides some (surprisingly) really interesting lectures, I've been to the office at least once a day this week. The recruitment work is taking so much time, and the classroom presentations, info tables and info events haven't even started yet.
We had our first LCM on Monday, highlight: "Ice cream and cake". Had my first "studi-party" on thursday, quite strange. Selling training in Zurich on Friday, as well as 40 Years of AIESEC Fribourg - party in the evening. Today: sleeping in, going to the office, eating, updating my blog and now... taking a bath! Take care!

"I love the rain most when it stops" - Joe Purdy

...just a weird time...

I haven't updated this blog for quite a while now, I've been busy with exams and after that with a little bit of work, studying and several private (and emotional) things. It's difficult to write down one or two main events from these last weeks, I'll just try to do my best.

- Exams: Some went rather well, others went... well, not that well. The results aren't all in yet. The funny thing is, also in University, you write exams and you just can't always trust your feeling on whether it went well or not. The final results can be quite surprising.

- Birthday: I had a quiet birthday this year. Family members were on vacation, so were friends. In the end, I was at home with a friend, watching MusicStar, some DVDs, the Oscars (Ellen DeGeneres is a genius) and after that I went to the Morgestreich in Basel.

- Fasnacht I: For the first time in like 2 or 3 years, I attended die drey scheenschte Dääg in my hometown and for the first time in my life, I went to the Morgestreich, the big opening of the carnival. It was a very strange experience. Even though I'm glad, that I'm not studying in Basel and that I challenged myself by living in another city, it was... just amazingly cool to be home. Living old traditions, hearing my lovely dialect all over the place, seeing all these people having a good time at this celebration. It made me realize that even though, right now, I don't see myself moving back to Basel after my studies and living there for the rest of my life, Basel is always going to be my home. Those are my roots. My mentality, my view on the world, hell...: my dialect! Basel shaped me! And I’m more than ready to let Berne having a similar impact on me.

- Music I: I have been downloading music like crazy, lately. I’ve discovered some great artists over these last weeks. I get very often inspired by TV series like Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy, and One Tree Hill which have all an amazing Soundtrack. Whenever I hear a beautiful song playing in the background of a scene, I’ll get it after the episode. Also, I searched through my iPod and found some pretty amazing music I completely forgot about. Happens, when you have 20GB of sound on such a little thing.

- Diary: Unlike my blog, I’ve updated my diary quite often lately. Additionally to my normal diary, I’ve been writing down almost every dream I had in the last 2 months. I can’t even go to bed now, without putting a sheet of paper and a pen next to my bed, so that I'm always ready to take notes. When I look at my dream entries from last December, I can see, hear, even feel what I dreamt that night and how I felt then. Even though this was more than 2 months ago. I can only recommend this to anyone. You will learn more about yourself, when you take a deeper look at your dreams.

- Music II: On Thursday evening, I was in Berne. I had to clean up my room and put everything on one sid of the room, so that the people bringing the piano in had enough space. Yes, that's right: I have my very own piano in Berne now. Finally! When you’ve played an instrument pretty much everyday for several years and then suddenly, you just get to play it when, or if you go home on weekends, it’s incredibly hard. Especially when you’re in a new city, not knowing that many people and spending a lot of time studying at home. Now, I’ll be able to play more often and hopefully improve a little.

- Fasnacht II: As you might have heard, a little boy got killed at the end of carnival by one of the Waggiswagä, one of the traditional carnival wagons. A whole city is in shock, but I guess nobody can imagine, how it is to lose a child, especially on an event, that is supposed to be a celebration. I was at the place, where the accident happened today, on Barfüsserplatz in Basel. There were so many candles, flowers, and carnival items, so many people there paying their respect. It was such an intense moment. One man was crying, maybe a relative. Another woman just unwrapped a rose and put it on the ground. A mother tried to explain to her child what happened. Me, I was standing there, not really knowing what to do. I hope the boy’s family and friends have a good supporting environment right now. Nobody’s supposed to be alone in such a time.

So, what now?

Tomorrow, I’ll be going to Savognin GR for a week, hopefully there’s going to be enough snow to go skiing. After that, I’ll be busy with transition, I’ll have to do the flyer of our National Learning Event and on March 14^th, the new EB will go to Wales to the WENA LDS Conference. And on March 19^th, University’ll start again.

I’m still very excited about my election to the EB. In general, I think this year is going to be good for me. Not only because of AIESEC, I feel like 2007 holds some changes for me. I can’t really tell what they are, when and how they will arrive. But they will come. Sooner or later. I’ll keep you updated…

"You Belong to Me" - Jason Wade

Women's Voting Rights in CH

Just a random post, since I'm quite busy right now.
Watch this video and let me know what you think... (It's in Swiss German!)

Good luck to everybody with their exams!!

*if the link doesn't work, try this: open this in another tab/window and then go on the link above... if THAT doesn't work, try this again and click on the video of february 7th 1971...