Elections and Impressions

This week was a very interesting one for me... First of all, a new Executive Board for AIESEC Bern was elected on Monday (see AIESEC Bern's Blog). A very emotional night in all possible ways. But this is another story...

Apart from that experience (that of course will change my daily life drastically) another election took place in Bern: the "Gesamterneuerungswahl des Bundesrates", the Elections of the Federal Council. Any yes: the ominous Christoph Blocher was not reelected, Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf was elected instead. This happened on Wednesday, but as media told, she would only declare her acceptance (or not) on Thursday.
After I've heard, that there would be a rally on the Federal Square next morning, Kathrin and I spontaneously decided to join it. At 7 in the morning. Of course, we arrived there only at 7.40. Still, we were able to witness the magical moment of her acceptance on the Federal Square while listening to the radio. Ten seconds later we had a microphone of the TSR (Francophonic Television) in our face and babbled something in French. We laughed about it at Starbuck's afterwards...;)

On Friday, i joined the MC open day. You can read my official statement here. Anyway, it was really a good experience and did leave an impact on me... (I'll come back to this later...)

After the Open Day, a small group of us took the train to Geneva, for the Pakistani Dinner hosted by the Genevan EB at Bilal's Place. Not that many people came unfortunately, but maybe this was even a good thing. The atmosphere was very relaxed, friendly and it was just so cool and refreshing to have such a night. We ate a wonderful dinner, talked, played games (sounds lame, but actually very cool discussions were intitiated by them...) and just had a great time.
The next morning, Kathrin and I took the train back to Bern, half sleeping half discussing once again very hot topics. Since the train was heading for Lucerne, we spontaneously decided to just stay in the train and visit the Museum of Transport. Arriving in Bern, we decided (just as spontaneously) not to do so and stay in Bern to study....;)

Federal Square in the early morning

Federal Palace

Kathrin & me

;-)

Oli & Kathrin

Delicious Pakistani Food

Jelena & me

The small big gang. Ravaka, Rene, Oli, Bilal, Kathrin, Me, Jelena, Nadja, Sara.

While having these various discussions with all those people, my mindset shifted a little bit. The questions whether to apply for the MC or not became once again very present and although I still have the same preference, I'm not that sure anymore.

Time will tell, now it's time to focus on my exams again and to enjoy the Christmas time. I think I felt some of the real Christmas spirit for the first time today, when shopping in Migros for groceries and passing by the small assortment of Christmas goods. Now I have about 2 weeks to enjoy it...;)

"It's all been done" - Bare Naked Ladies

What the Hell

This week was weird. Not only this week, acutally the last few weeks in general. The one thing I'm constantly thinking about is the big change that is going to come soon. EB elections are coming up in about two weeks... (!!!) At that time I will know, who my successor's going to be. To whom I will pass on what I've done, what I've processed and learnt during this amazing year. Our team experience is going to be finished. We'll be able to pass our LC on to the next generation.

It feels strange that something that had this huge affect on you for one year is soon going to be over. Or is it?

Ten days after my last blog entry, things have cleared up about the near future. I've made some decisions during that time, yes. But the further future is still very blurry. Too many options again. Isn't this weird... (no interrogation mark here!)

People are trying to persuade me, are telling me to do things, to apply for positions. What the hell? What if I don't want to apply for certain positions. What if I don't feel ready for certain positions? What if my head tells me something else than my... heart, stomach, scar on my back...? (whatever part of the body you might want to choose...)

Decisions aren't about what you're supposed to do, what you want to do or what other people want you to do. They are about what feels right. And right now, it feels right to make decisions at a later time. To move certain experiences further ahead. To concentrate on me, myself and my personal development.

In a year from now, looking back on this time, I might regret that I didn't do enough notes taking, diary filling and blogging. But I will remember this time as being very stressful, very reflective... a time of great change. Change that might have been hard to take at certain points. But one, that was well thought through. One that doesn't need to evoke regrets. One that felt and still feels right.

"Camille et Franck" - Ensemble C'est Tout Soundtrack

Options

Options... When we don't have them, we'd like to. When we do, we hate it because decision making is up to us and not to the external world anymore.

I'm just listing a few options here, not in any order of preference or so, ok? Just listing them...

- random Goldie
- LCP
- NST
- eXchange
- CEED
- MCVP
- AI (just kidding...;)

I sorted them in an order of preference for myself, especially during and now after DO-IT I've been thinking about this a lot. But I'm not telling. Not yet. Still, decisions have to be taken soon. Not that I would have time to think. I can't elaborate on it yet. Oh boy...

I'm open for any kind of remarks, though...


"Juicy" - Better than Ezra

...still: Procrastination

Hell, I'm even procrastinating my blogging activities...

Let me sum it up for you:
- big busy month
- exams
- new semester
- recruitment
- trying to reconnect with Basel
- my first general national elections
- today: last warm fall day of the year... trying to absorb the sun for the last time...

I just have no time. Starting to be so busy, dass ich meine Sätze nicht zu Ende.

Any questions? I'm glad to give... (if I can find time for...) Anyway, I hope you're not. Or. That would be. Really.

no song title this time - i have no time to post a

Procrastination

"… I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any more time, I have less time. But let’s just say we could save up a whole chunk of time and set it aside. You know what we’d do with it? Nothing. Nothing at all, isn’t that the point to be able to do nothing at all? But we’re not guaranteed that later on chunk of time, all we have is Here & Now.

And that’s why procrastination feels so right.

Procrastination is not the problem, it is the solution.
It is the universe’s way of saying:
“Stop! Slow down! You move too fast!
Listen to the music, whow whow, listen to the music!
Because music makes the people come together,
It makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So,
Come on people now, smile on your brother
And everybody try to love one another.
Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love
And I know that love is a battlefield,
But boogie on, reggae woman,
Because you’re gonna make it after all.
So, celebrate good times, come on.

I’ve gotta stop, I’ve gotta come to my senses,
I’ve been out riding fences for so long…

Oops, I did it again...

What I’m trying to say is: If you leave here tonight and you don’t remember anything else that I said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now! Don’t put it off…"

from Ellen Degeneres' "Here & Now"

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"Something's Always Wrong" - Toad The Wet Sprocket

Seeing the sun in Finland...

As promised in my facebook status, I'm going to write here about my ScaLDS moment. As you might know, I attended the Scandinavian Leadership Development Seminar 2007, together with 16 fellow Swiss @ers. Usually in AIESEC, there are certain things or events that leave such a remarkable impression, that they just stick in our head. It can be a discussion with another member, a session delivered in an extraordinary way, gossip spread on at the conference or a moment of personal reflection.

Surely, there were many highlights at this conference, one important one being the time I spent with the other Swiss delegates and the special Swiss Scandinavian conference spirit we created. The one moment, I'll probably never forget in my life was, however, one I experienced on my own.
The last night, for AIESEC conferences this means: Official Dinner. Dress up nicely, have a nice dinner and then a nice party. Just everything in a nice way. Usually, these nights take a long, long time. So I thought, I have to be ready to leave at 7 in the morning anyway, so why go to sleep and potentially oversleep and miss my bus...? So I thought, I'd just have a night without sleep and get my rest on the bus to Helsinki and on the flight back to Switzerland.

So what to do? The party was kind of over and after-parties were either fading away or I wasn't invited to them. So, since it was getting morning I decided to take a walk in the Finnish forests. I walked across a path that after a few minutes, led me to two big constructions: two ski-jump bases, a really big one and a smaller one. In the blink of an eye, it just hit me: I had to climb up that jump base. So I did, walked up the hill to the nearer base (which was the smaller one as well) and took the stairs. The whole construction was made out of wood and looked really old. Should I trust a Finnish construction from the ... I don't know, the 60's or 50's? Strangely enough, even though I'm afraid of heights, I did.

So there I was, on top of a ski-jump base in the middle of the Finnish forest. I could see a factory or power plant in the distance, the town of Harjavalta and the Hotel Hittenharju, where the conference took place, but otherwise: trees! Lots and lots of pine trees, all over the place. No hills, no mountains, no lakes... just trees. The vue: It was just breathtaking! I sat down, took my iPod and listened to my favourite tunes from this week. "Dear Mr. President" and "Trouble Sleeping".

Just enjoying the moment, I realized that I would be able to see the sunrise from that place. And really, some minutes later the sun emerged right in front of me. I concentrated on that red light bulb that came out of nowhere back there and enjoyed the fact I didn't have a camera on me, but my iPod.
Soon after it was completely risen, it hid beneath some clouds and I thougth it would be time, to try to get down this wooden thing I had climbed. Slowly and always holding on to the rail with both hands I managed to get down. Alive. When I was up there, looking down through the manufactured branches that held the construction together, I thought all this would fall down any minute. It didn't and I had the possibility to see the sunrise as probably no one else at this conference ever had. This moment was one of the strangest of my whole life. The whole arrangement of pine trees that seemed kind of "cold" assembled with the warm shine of the sun rising back there on the horizon. And all this mixed with some great music. What a way to start the day...

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The aftermath: I went back to my room and finally fell asleep anyway, luckily Paul woke me up in time to get to the Bus...;)

"Dear Mr. President" - P!nk

Lost XP

During the last few weeks, many things happened in my life. Although this is supposed to be a blog about "the choices I make in life", I haven't really been updating it a lot lately. I'm so engaged in my studies, my AIESEC duties and private projects, that I rarely find time anymore to just sit down and reflect about anything, nor has my dream diary been updated regularly in the past weeks. Now, that the exam period is almost over and I'll be more flexible again, it feels like so much knowledge about my experiences in the past weeks is just gone, or hardly retractable. What am I going to do about that? Should I sit down and try to relive and note down my past experiences? I'm a person that believes in learning from past mistakes and experiences, so in that sense: Yes, I should! On the other hand, there's still a lot left to do and it's going to be hard to find time to..... No, that's just a lame excuse.

Just wait, Moleskine notbook, I'll be back soon!
(don't even try to understand how my brain works...)

"Build me up Buttercup" - The Foundations

bern, uni, @,...: year 1

here i am and the first year of my studies is almost over. the first real year of this challenge called growing up, the first year of living far, far away from home.

as i was taking one of my usual nightly walks through holligen, it suddenly occurred to me that i will have moved to another flat in one month from now. i will leave the old home behind (once again) and move on.

i got thinking... this year was probably the busiest of my life. but it was definitely amongst the most entertaining ones. i got to experience so many different things. many of them, thanks to aiesec. there were so many ups and downs, good and bad moments, quiet and busy ones. it's weird how much can happen in just one year. but would i have to name the most important one, i would be clueless...

i came to bern, because i wanted to challenge myself, live in my own flat, find my way around in a new environment, socialize with other people. i'm not entirely happy with what i've achieved until now. but isn't happiness maybe the first step of "settling down"? and isn't settling down.... well, boring? man, i'm young. i still have the time and the energy to try things out, make mistakes and learn from them afterwards.

a couple of posts earlier, i described my life as a construction site. i would like to add another metaphor to this.
right now, life's a playground. a pretty messy one, and one where you easily can fall down, get hurt and damage yourself badly. still. you should take moments to play around.

(me on a playground in newport, rhode island during my america trip last summer)

i'm gonna miss this year. i'm gonna miss the old flat, even though i'm looking forward to living in the new one. i'll miss my nightly walks through the forest and the allotments ("schrebergärten"). i'll miss the ping-pong table where i've lain many nights, looking in the sky and enjoying the stars shining through the branches. i'll miss my back yard, where foxes would turn up now and then. (actually, just once) i'm gonna miss this year.

i would do many things differently. however, i think i should focus on my future, the next year at least. formulate concrete action steps. once again. and stick to them. good luck with exams.

"gracias a la vida" - mercedes sosa

Breitsch, here I come!

Got a phone call yesterday night.
A girl calling.
With a Liechtensteinish accent.
She told me, that I got the room.
I can move in in July.
It's in the Breitsch.
I'll be having a roof over my head.
Can concentrate on exams now.
Good.

"Läuft alles perfekt" - Annett Louisan

Under construction

These days, there's a huge construction site in Berne, that pisses everybody off: the one at the Train Station Square, literally in the heart of the town. When I passed there by today, I was looking at these huge escalators lying around and it got me thinking.

It sounds very silly, I know, but isn't life some sort of construction site, as well? I mean, problems arise constantly, and you try to fix them only to be confronted by new ones. You work a lot, you get challenged everyday and sometimes you need to dig very deep in order to fix things or get things right.

Anyway, my life right now resembles a huge construction site. There's a lot of things to be fixed, changed and built. The thing is, I barely know how to approach those things. I guess time will tell. Luckily, my life doesn't need to be ready for next year's European championship. I guess, I'm lucky enough to be able to start with fixing small things first, instead of tearing everything apart. As I said: Time will tell!

Impressions from the Train Station Square in Berne, taken today:

"Hasheket Shenishar" - Shiri Maimon